Quarter-fucking-life-crisis.

This week-long reflection was really good for me. I am now having a quarter life crisis. Yeah, it's totally cool.

Shit.

This weekend, on the picture perfect Saturday afternoon, walking in LES and Soho, even running into Richard Chai, fashion designer extraordinare in his white v-neck (Slavy, I am sorry for giving you such a hard time about YOUR white v-necks last year--you, my friend, are just too fashion forward, even for me...aha.) I met up with my friend Chris, just to catch up. Before yesterday, I hadn't seen him in years--which I think is a little ridiculous because Yale is only 2 hours away from NYC. Bah. Anyway, I've known him since the summer of 8th grade. We go way back...to CTY @ Johns Hopkins. Think about, that was 8 years ago, which brought on a realization that contributed to my crisis. TIME GOES BY SO FAST. Holy shit, it was a blink of an eye before high school was over (gosh, i loved Stuy.) and college was just around the corner. Another blink of an eye ...I am a month away from graduating college and starting my first real job. I am scared shitless. Don't get me wrong, I am so excited about Credit Suisse, but it's hard not to freak about what I want to do with my life and if I'd have enough time to do everything--and do it well.

Actually, I came across this quote that kinda PERFECTLY describes my quarter-fucking-life crisis:

"we human beings are conflicted beings. our beliefs don't always harmonize with our instincts, and our behavior doesn't always reflect our beliefs...we wage war between the person we are and the person we hope to become" -Brandon Mull

Can I lead the party girl life style while being a financier...

Can I party hard, jetset on weekends while saving money to buy an apartment (you know, the responsible thing to do) and donate money to the less fortunate...(http://www.poverty.com/)

Can I get totally smashed without it interfering with my Buddhist morale...(http://www.purifymind.com/BuddhismAlcohol.htm)

Basically, I am pretty sure despite the beautiful weather..I was a downer and seem so defeated. I am also pretty sure, I scared Chris. Sorry. But amid this quarter-life-crisis, I realized something from a quote I found while catching up on my week's worth of GoogleReader this weekend:

the greatest mistake you can make in life is to be constantly fearing you will make one.

Damn right.

So, c'est la vie.